Uncle Bill

Tonight I went to my Uncle Bill's memorial service. I feel like I've missed out on knowing a really awesome person. I have always admired him for being a free spirit and following his bliss. I won't go into the story but because of family politics I never really got to know him.

Before my first memories of him he was an alcoholic. Through the help of AA he became sober. Many people didn't know how many people he "sponsored" through AA, but his true involvement was not really known until his death. He was a hero to many and many of those people stood up at his funeral and say how he saved their life. They spoke of his quiet and gentle love. He was all about love. He loved Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. I love that book too!!

I'm sorry I didn't really get to know you Uncle Bill! I pray you will help guide me on my return to love.

Spirit didn't let up much

Well, Spirit eased up on the rolling me over, for a bit... I just got a BIG HUGE wake up call from the Holy Spirit. I was really struggling with a few issues and what did I do to help quiet them down? Yup, my old standby of fast food. In the last leadership class we wrote down what our addictions and hinderances were to becoming spiritual leaders. Guess what I wrote down? My addiction to fast food. You know the saying "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." Well, I got what I wished for, just not in the way I wanted it. I won't be eating fast food for a LONG LONG time, because I am broker than broke.

I'm a little ticked at myself for letting this happen, again. But this time I'm choosing to frame it in a different context. I know in my soul I needed this to happen this way. I was getting to a spot where I was getting too comfortable and I needed to be shaken up. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to wake up from the dream, I'm there. This is my rock bottom.

I can't live the lies anymore, I need to speak my truth, I need to live my truth. I need to be ME not what other people tell me I need to be. Yes this is going to be hard, but I've got a great group of people around me that will hold me accountable and help me pick up the pieces and rebuild something even more beautiful.

Stop it!!!

Another leadership class is over with. I've been given an assignment that is REALLY challenging me, and I've only just started thinking about it. Our class song is "Roll Me Over Spirit" (see a few posts below to read the full lyrics), and I really need to stop singing this song over and over again in my head because Spirit is really rolling me over, mixing me up, and shaking me to my core with this assignmnet.

peace

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Maybe it's a good thing

At work most websites are blocked, which is understandable. But you can get into cosmo.com but not cnn.com and you can get into comedycentral.com but not wcco.com. Strange, I know. The worst of it all is I can't get into craftster.org. It's a crafting website, it's not like it's cosmo talking about sex positions. I guess it could be a good thing. I just checked my e-mail and found I had 2 pm's on craftster but I can't read them. I have to wait until I get home, the injustice of it all. It's probably a good thing because I would probably be drooling all over the desk.

But I have discovered I can view the thumbnail pictures on google. I've gotten som really good ideas for some quilts. My list of quilting projects is getting huge, but I am going to solve that by making many of them wallhanging size. I have a whole series I want to create based on optical illusions. I want to exibit them at one of the local coffee shops or even the local art gallery. Doing the wallhanging size also saves money, not as much fabric but I still get the satisfaction of making something.